Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
