that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she smelled like a LAN party
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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