Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
