o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
