I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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