you guys were way drunker than both of me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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