that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
