Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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