I never want to see another naked old woman again.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
