Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
