what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
