You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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