It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
