Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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