His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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