Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I will pee on everything he values.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
