...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
