Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
