Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
