omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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