I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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