How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
