So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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