Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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