My hand turned me down
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
