my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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