After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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