Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
