What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
