dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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