having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
