somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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