sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
