she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
