he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
