I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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