why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
