Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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