I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize