Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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