can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
