Apparently you make a good broom.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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