Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
