This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
