I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
