DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just want nice things and good sex
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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