Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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