The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
