I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
