I skipped work to stalk him.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
