Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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