Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
