Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
