Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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