just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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