How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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