I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
