Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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