her vagina looked like bernie madoff
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
