perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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