the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
