you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
